Carol the Coach: Self-Esteem Building in your kids


How do you encourage self-esteem in your child? Confidence is an important ingredient in having good self-esteem. As kids grow up, they need their parents to instill more confidence in them. You do this by reminding your children of their personal strengths and teach them to take risks and to stretch out of their comfort zone.

Confidence is a quality that creates success in children. As a parent you may find yourself constantly telling your child what not to do. However, changing your words and requests are imperative in shaping your child's sense of him or hers self. Next to a genetic predisposition to having self confidence, YOU are the most important person in building your child's sense of confidence. Your child needs to believe that you believe in him/her.

YOU are the most important person in building your child's sense of confidence. Your child needs to believe that you believe in him/her.

Kids with low self-esteem aren’t able to identify areas of confidence, therefore they hinder their own ability to achieve. When they don’t believe in themselves, they stop conceiving ideas that contribute toward their own personal satisfaction. This becomes a vicious cycle because when they don’t achieve, they stop believing in themselves.

How can you help your child build his/her confidence quotient? As a parent to you reinforce the following qualities in your child.

Look at the following recommendations and decide what areas you need to work on.

Personality Strengths: (circle all that apply to you)

  • Do you encourage persistece in your child? When they get discouraged do you sit beside them and instill what good work they are doing even if they seemed discouraged and stuck?

  • Do you focus on your child’s positives strengths daily? Make an effort to tell your child daily one quality that you admire about them. It may be their kindness, their ability to share or their love of basketball

  • Do your kids see you valuing your admirable qualities? Kids model what they see so they need to see you speak positively about yourself!

Environmental Structure:

  • Do you follow a routine that teaches your child balance and structure? Kids do much better with regular dinner times and bedtimes. They will feel more secure when the family practices regular rituals like prayer or nightly time to read.

  • Do you encourage your child to associate with friends who share your family's same values?

  • Do you talk to your child about setting personal goals?

Keep this article close and allow it to motivate you to practice these parenting tools daily. It is easy as a parent to notice what your child needs to work on and not emphasize what your child already does right. We know that kids are much more likely to follow through with tasks and feel good about themselves if you encourage the effort not the outcome. Practice being the positive Mom or Dad and make statements that fortify your belief in them!

And if you know that you lack confidence, make sure to apply these same skills to your life. It is never too late to invest in yourself and "be the change you want to see" for your family!

Parenting is not easy. So, follow these guidelines to help you. The most important thing is to implement it. Spend some conscious time deciding what you can do to encourage

your child to actualize hi/her highest sense of self.

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