Your Messages have Meaning: Carol the Coach

It seems so early for the kids to be going back to school and yet you have likely already spent a couple of weeks getting them up, getting them ready, and sending them off to school. As you prepare them for each school day, I would ask you to send them a positive message in the morning before they leave for school and at night when you tuck them into bed.

You have such an awesome responsibility in preparing your children for their destiny. And your primary job as a parent is to instill in them your belief and faith that they are amazing individuals and will go far in life. The best way to do that is to send them positive messages about their inherent strengths. This requires that you look at their personality and determine what you appreciate about them. Research shows that if a child has positive thoughts prior to going to bed, it will instill a sense of confidence that will help strengthen his/her sense of self. Isn't it nice to know that you can be the caretaker that instills this sense of personality strength? Kids need to know what you appreciate about their character. Maybe they are generous, kind, loving, compassionate. Perhaps they are determined, focused, driven, and helpful. These are the kinds of qualities that you want to reinforce in them. When you verbally acknowledge what you appreciate about them and what makes them special and unique you are setting them up for success.

Let's face it is, as a parent it takes discipline to do this with consistency and regularity. Your days are hectic, and time is precious. Make it a point to put reminders around the house so that you remember to reinforce what you appreciate about them every morning and every night. When you do this, you invest in their "emotional love tank" and create a sense of confident self-esteem. I know you may be saying to yourself " I have not been doing this and I may be responsible for them not feeling that sense of security in their lives" but you can start this practice any time and make a huge difference in their life.

Most adults have 70,000 negative thoughts a day. This positive thought practice instills in children that they are capable human beings who have many great gifts to offer the world. How would your life have been different if you had gone to bed knowing that Mom or Dad was proud of not just what you achieved in your normal day but who you were as a person? Well isn't incredible that you have the capability to program positive thoughts into your child at any age.

Don't be surprised when you use these affirmations, if your child debunks them or responds with a negative. It is common for people to minimize positive comments. Just remember that this technique works for anyone...your spouse, your friends and even the dog. I know that when I use this with my husband, he teases me and says, "Who has replaced my wife?" But I also notice that big grin he has on his face because I have noticed his kindness or determination. So, don't become discouraged if your child minimizes your initial comments. I guarantee if you practice this diligently, your children will eventually look forward to leaving for school or going to bed, being reminded that they are appreciated for being the unique human beings that they are!

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