Parenting is a huge responsibility and as a life coach I believe that the bigger the job, the more you have to take care of you and model self-care. After all you are the CEO of your own company and this requires a variety of skills that you may typically minimize because they feel so ingrained and normal. If you were to list and categorize what you did on a daily basis you would recognize that your duties include organizational development, time management proficiency, and human resource abilities. Let's not forget that you are always working on skills with your family that includes personal growth development, self esteem building, goal setting and conflict resolution. This is a tough career and you are the perfect person for the job! But as mentioned at the beginning of this article, sometimes the hardest part of parenting can often times be role modeling healthy behaviors that kids can learn from you. Why is this such a conundrum? Because life is so hectic you forget that you are the #1 source for teaching your kids how to feel, what to think and how to believe! You are doing so much for yourself that you may have forgotten how to model good self care.
Let me ask you.....Do you utilize self care? Do you find quiet time in your day to de-stress and relax? How about play? Do you spend time having fun with your kids and showing them that you can have fun with other adults in your life? Do you have a manageable schedule which includes rest and relaxation and laughter? Are you positive about yourself? Do you convey a sense of confidence that the kids can see and model as they grow older? In other words, how good are you at taking care of you? Parents are typically selfless when it comes to meeting needs.....they tend to put everyone first before themselves. How often at the end of a long tiring day do you pat yourself on the back and tell yourself that you have done a fabulous job of childrearing and caretaking. I would venture to say that most of you would assess the day and worry about the things that didn't feel "good enough." But the truth of the matter is that you will feel better and have more success if you focus on what is going right in your family's life as opposed to what is going wrong.
I would love to challenge you to
write down 5 things about yourself that you feel positive and confident about that directly relates to your parenting.
Repeat those statements or qualities to yourself at least once a day.
Take a few deep breaths and as you do this, breathe into the affirmations.
When you do this regularly, you take more time out for you which sends a message to the kids that your needs are important too and need to be respected. This daily exercise centers and grounds you and provides you an extra benefit in that it gives you more time to be proactive and plan for your family. So not only have you been a positive role model, but you have also allowed yourself more breathing room literally to manage the household.
So don't cheat yourself from taking good care of you and teaching the kids how important your needs are in the context of being a part of the family. If you don't...no one else will!